>Social Networking- The communication killer

>Hi blogiverse, family, friends, followers…

I know I wrote a post about this not that long ago*, but I have decided that I have more to say on the matter of facebook.
(Most of this is in regard to people whom are on facebook often, updating their status with personal information, and have hundreds of friends- people they may have gone to preschool with, met at the store, their neighbor, their mailman, the guy who cuts their lawn, that person whom they know through that other person who is friends with their sisters boyfriend……)

People no longer share things with one another – we “eavesdrop” on the lives of others. We share all these intimate details about our lives with these people, yet when we see them in person – either:

a) we don’t even say hello or talk to them
b) we don’t have anything to talk about, because we already put up a status about what’s been going on, and we know that they know about it, because they liked or commented on the status, or 
c) we talk to them about all the “intimate” details of their lives because they posted it on facebook, but really they don’t want to talk to us about it (they may even give you a puzzled look, as if to say “how do you even know that, I didn’t tell you about that?”)

Whatever happened to asking people how they are, and not already knowing the answer – that they’ve been having a difficult time because the guy they’re in love with still hasn’t changed his ways after six years.
What happened to privacy? Why do we put up every little faucet of our lives for “all the world” to see?**

Maybe, to some people, facebook is like a blog — a way for them to share their lives with others….But then why do people post millions of photo’s of themselves (guilty), their pets (guilty again), their family, their cars, their stuff, their children, and even their unborn children. When writing a blog, one accepts that whatever is put “out there” is public, but on facebook we feel safe to “put it all out there”.

Now, I found something interesting the other day. I often google myself***, mostly to figure out what information of mine is out in internet – but, I have never done an image search on google with my name…. Only one or two images of me actually came up – but where they were linked to was most interesting…. they were linked to other peoples pages, one was linked to an old acquaintance’s myspace page, and the other was linked to a public blog that I guest wrote on. However, my privacy settings on my facebook page are set very high. What I found most interesting, is if someone googles a facebook-friend of yours, your photo’s may show up in the results.

I recently went onto an old friend’s facebook page – we are not facebook-friends anymore – and lo and behold…I could look at ALL of her photos…many of which are of her newborn child….

Anyways… I have nothing agaisnt those whom use facebook often and have a gazillion*** friends… to each his or her own…. I know that many people use facebook to connect and share opinions and views… and that’s great – if you take anything away from this, please let it be this*****:
Before you share things on the internet (which includes facebook):

  • remember that it will have a digital history and even after you delete it, it may be saved on someone’s computer… 
  • consider who is on your friends list, do you really want to share that with them?

What led me to write this…
Well..I’d like to really connect with people – through conversation and phone calls/emails (for those far away)… I want to share news with people personally…rather than send out a mass status update… I want others to tell me things, rather than assume I know because it was on facebook…. I was friendships to be about making the effort to keep in touch and communicate, rather than about checking their facebook page to see what they’ve been up to.
So, I am deleting almost everyone on my facebook friends list… family and a few friends excluded…
I am also going to spend less time on facebook – “eavesdropping” on the lives of people I barely know, only kinda know, don’t even talk to… etc.

So, if you are one of the people who is no longer on my friends list come Monday…. please do not take it personally…. when you would normally check my facebook page/status update – come and check my blog to see what’s new in my life. I promise to try and make more of an effort to update it regularly.

Also – I check my email multiple times a day… so, send me an email sometime and lets start a real conversation and relearn what communication really is!! 🙂

Take care!!

*since that post – I have not done what I said I would do. I still use facebook to “fill people in”, rather than writing about it here…
** “she says, as she writes a public blog where anyone can read about the ins and outs of her life” 
*** don’t judge me – I know you’ve done it too!! (if not – you’re about to, aren’t you?)
**** it is a real word – see here
***** and not that I am a self righteous snob who judges everyone who has ever put up a photo of their child or a personal detail on facebook — because I promise you I am not.


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