Opening up

I am a very shy person…until you get to know me… once I become comfortable around you, I am rather talkative, opinionated, and occasionally  maybe a little funny. But, at the very core of who I am – I care about people. Once someone has made an impact on/in my life (be it big or small)…I find it very difficult to walk away — I like to think I am a good friend, and a good friend is always there for her friends, and offers support when needed. I really try to be the best person I can be, and one quality that I think makes someone a good person (based on the ultimate role model of course, Christ) is their desire to care for people.

If you have read my ‘From My Heart‘ page, you may know how important the blogging community has become to me in the past few years… the women I have connected with and “met” have become like friends to me – they’ve been there to help me through difficult times, they’ve encouraged me, they’ve given me advice, and they’ve hoped for and with me. And, I hope that I have been able to do the same for them.

Now, sometimes my deep desire to connect with people and offer my friendship, love, and support can be tricky to manage – especially in an online community such as this one. It’s very difficult to balance the feeling that you know someone so well – because you’ve followed their blog and have been there when they’ve had low moments, and been there in joyous moments too- with the reality that you’ve never really met the person, and you haven’t actually had a real conversation with them.

I feel very close to some of these women, even though we’ve never really met, and because I do not know how they feel about me, it can be awkward to reach out and try to really connect. It doesn’t help that I am a socially awkward person in real life…and so in a “virtual” setting… that is magnified.

I tried to write this post a few days ago- but I couldn’t eloquently express myself…Today, one of my favorite bloggers wrote a post that resonated with me – and essentially, the post is everything I wanted to say, but couldn’t. Another blogger (one I’m excited to “get to know” ) also wrote a post that is so true to how I feel.

How do you feel about the social aspect of blogging (or twitter)? Do you feel like you could meet real friends through an online community? How do you reach out and go beyond the normal “I’ll follow your blog and comment on your posts” type of blogger-relationship? Or do you even want to do so?

Share in the comments or write your own post and link to mine, MissOhKay’s, and/or Esperanza’s.


12 thoughts on “Opening up

  1. Hey bon, this was a rather intriguing blog.
    i think there is a danger to being attached to an online community but it also shows of a deeper need of humanity.
    to be connected.
    a friend of mine told me recently.
    “its funny with all these blogs, twitter, FB, all these people want to be listened to, yet sadly, a lot of those people are ot willing to listen to others.”
    very true that!

  2. I read you post on my cellphone in the car on the way back home from the in-laws, and I read it again just now. I can very much relate to what you wrote. I think I’ll take up the baton (is that how you say it in English?) and write a post on the issue, too. First, though I have to read MIssOhKay’s and Esperanza’s posts and sort out my thoughts a bit to keep from rambling too much 😉

    • “Take up the baton” is correct – at least I think it is, which means if not, it’s close enough! 😛
      Thank you for stopping by and I’m glad that the post “spoke to you”… I know I felt almost relieved when I first read MissOhKay’s post – made me feel “normal”, or at least less alone in my feelings of wanting to belong and connect.
      Thanks again – going to stop by and read your post now! 🙂

  3. Pingback: Virtual Social Life « Relaxed No More

  4. I hear you! Many of the women I follow have captured my heart and I pray forthem, grieve with them, rejoice with them and hope for them the way I would for a close friend or sister. I often question when I reach outto them how my “reaching” will be received. There are some ladies I’d truly love to get together with and have a lunch date. There have been times I’ve longed to send sympathy packages to them after difficult, troubling, or painful news. But, alas, I can’t bring myself to ask for their addresses in those moments as it seems inappropriate, and as for getting together, while I had made initial steps in that direction with a couple of ladies, once I received the joyous news that our FET was successful and their treatments were not, I lost hope of being able to follow through on making further plans bc I doubt that they’d truly “love” to see me with my pregnant belly, regardless of how long it took me to get here.
    I am personally thankful that you reached out to me before leaving Twitter. Receiving your email recently was one of the brightest spots in my week 🙂
    But I do understand the awkward feeling of putting yourself out there and hoping the other person either reciprocates, or at the very least receives your attempts at friendship.
    There are those who seem to thrive in this anonymous community simply bc it is anonymous. But for me, even while pregnant, sometimes what I really need is face to face time with another person who’s been through the trenches of IF and can understand my feelings of loneliness.
    Great post! Worth thinking through 🙂

    • I’m not sure where in the U.S. you are – but if you are/were near…I’d want to hang out – even more so because of the miracle of life causing your belly to expand! 🙂 [Admittedly, it’s taken me a long to be able to get to that point…but I’m there…. and I thank God for that!]


  5. loved this post and wish I had more than a second to drop you a line. I tried to respond via email but couldn’t find your address on here. I think blogland is such a tricky thing. as another commenter mentioned it is so important to have people near to you that are a source of encouragement and accountability but at the same time blogging community can be a valuable source for those as well. kind of like a long-distance friend. hope all is well bon and that you’re being spurred on daily! looking forward to looking around your new blog soon!!

  6. Thank you for writing this post. I did read it right away when it went up, but time got away from me so I didn’t comment in a timely manner. I’m going to link to you in my post – just let me know if you prefer that I didn’t. 🙂

  7. Pingback: Is my introvert showing? | a plus effort

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